Midnight-fox18's Art Zone

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Dis is my art stash ...Some pictures are old so please excuse those :/

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October 29th, 2017, 7:43 pm

Midnight-fox18

Vent

Okay, I can’t hold it in any longer, I just can’t. There’s so much stuff I’ve been trying to hold back, and I need to let it go so I can begin to heal.
Note: This vent won’t have any stuff about how “bad” I think I am. It will just be everything I’ve been trying to hold back for 8 months. You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, I’m doing this for myself.

So ... haha, I guess nothing’s really been the same in my world since the end of February. That’s when it started.
That’s when people I knew and loved started getting really depressed. I guess it was slowly building up to that, but I never thought it would get that bad.
... long and sad story short, it was pretty much innocent and beautiful people thinking they deserved to die. NO ONE deserves to die by their own hand, all alone. I don’t care who it is who’s reading this, each and every one of you are beautiful people who deserve to live out your wonderful lives, and if you wish to die, PLEASE get help. Surround yourself with people who care.
But yeah ... they’re all still alive today and getting better, thank goodness. Please don’t blame yourselves for any of this, it’s just me becoming weary.
I’m so tired ... fighting for a life that isn’t yours isn’t easy, and after so much time of fighting so hard, of being so worried, of waking up with the fear that one of your friends will be dead, it really gets to you, even if things are getting better now.
... this might be one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever said here (and 2015 me said some really ridiculous stuff lmao) but the death of SS Ships was a factor too ^^”
I know that to everyone else, it was a goofy place to have fun, and there’s nothing wrong with that!
But since I was the creator of it, it was a source of other things too for me ...
It filled me with happiness to see people having fun there, to make new friends through it, to see something that was my doing become the heart of the community. And it made me happy to solve any conflicts there, keep people’s online lives safe and fun. I just don’t know how to describe it ...
... I also don’t know how to describe the blow to my soul that having that taken away from me was ...
All that leadership and helpfulness and happiness ... BAM! A shadow of who I once was, where few even know who I am. To make things even worse, I was the one who invited HIM ... and now what I once had is gone ...
I’ve been on the edge, and I’ve snapped a lot. I’ve gotten extremely angry and hurt people, just go ask anyone on Line. I don’t really want to talk about it, I’m not proud of the things I’ve said.
I don’t like hurting people I love with my sadness or rage. I don’t like messing up and fearing that an innocent person will die from my mistake.
And that’s why I’m super quiet bam

Sorry that it was so long, and sorry to the people who’ve already heard all this stuff in the past :’3
... I just wish things could be like they were in 2016 again, you know? ...
I wish I could say all the right words and it would all be better. Everyone’s sadness gone, everyone’s wounds healed, the world restored to the paradise it once was.
But I don’t know what the right words are.

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August 21st, 2017, 10:21 pm

Midnight-fox18

.

I'm sorry for existing and being a mess that ruins everything and hurts everyone I'm sorry

7 comments

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July 27th, 2017, 11:26 pm

Midnight-fox18

Creative Slump

... So, I think I owe an explanation as to why I've done hardly anything regarding updates on my Artzone and Sundered Souls this summer ;-;
(If you don't like venting, then please stop reading here)

Well, for June, it was just summer PE and I was often too exhausted to draw when I got home, but I could still draw a bit on weekends, even if I haven't posted it, and that was fine. And in the beginning of July I was busy visiting relatives.

... But more recently in the latter part of July, I've been in some "creative slump" or whatever it's called.
I can't draw
I can't write
And some people have told me that for drawing, I should just take requests or challenges, but it's not that I'm out of ideas. Heck, I've had lots of drawing ideas, as well as an idea for a new Sundered Souls prologue that will be much better (because tbh I didn't know what I was doing with the original one).
But I have absolutely NO motivation to do these things. I try to sketch something but in 10 minutes the enjoyment is gone, and I end up scrapping it or setting it aside for later. I try to work on Sundered Souls but all the fun is sucked out of it after my paranoia of failing starts to set in ...

I don't know I'm not going to talk about it anymore because I'm just seeking attention at this point.
I'm sorry

4 comments

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January 7th, 2017, 7:42 pm

Midnight-fox18

Announcement

Hey!
This is an announcement for one of my friends! >:3

See, he wants to start a cheese, and it would be great for you to cheese. It'll be centered around cheese. Chess and cheese.








HAHAHA I SCARED YOUUUU :333333333333
And I'm sorry for wasting 20 seconds of everyone's lives
Here, have a video to make up for it
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3OoU2ck2RiY

1 comments

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August 19th, 2016, 7:27 pm

Midnight-fox18

EON X CHRIS

EON X CHRIS 4 LIFE BOIS
SUPPORT THE SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP YEAH
EYO I'M AN EGGO

...
That is all

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